October 9, 2006

  • HATE ME!

    Have you ever heard a song that
    was so disgusting, dark, and hopeless, but you couldn't stop listening because
    it was so accurate and honest on the condition of the heart.  This song,
    "Hate Me", by Blue October I don not recommend, but it has some of the most
    memorable quotes that I can think of depicting the condition of young adults
    thoughts and their heart.  This song brings up a excellent question to
    those of us who are reaching out to the hurting, are we doing it because we
    truly love and value them or is it because we don't want to feel like we've
    failed them.  How often do we put our value as a person in how well our
    kids do, or our youth group acts, how well our church acts, or how intelligent
    our students are.  This pride can be a very dangerous thing.  In this
    song the singer has truly disturbing thoughts, but very real at the same time. 
    It is sad for me to say  that the youth of America feels this way about
    themselves, but it's true.  I pray they know there is hope and that those
    who love them truly and honestly do love them, they often lack the ability to
    understand the fragment pieces of their lives.  If  their is one thing
    I could give the youth of this would it would be hope.  Hope that passes
    all understanding, a hope that puts these broken pieces of their lives back
    together again.

    (Verse 1:)
    I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head
    They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
    Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I’m alone
    Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
    There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
    An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?
    And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?

    And will you never try to reach me?
    It is I that wanted space

    (Chorus:)
    Hate me today
    Hate me tomorrow
    Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
    Hate me in ways
    Yeah ways hard to swallow
    Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

    (Verse 2:)
    I’m sober now for 3 whole months it’s one accomplishment that you helped
    me with
    The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won’t touch again
    In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
    While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight

    You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
    You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
    So I’ll drive so f**** far away that I never cross your mind
    And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

    And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
    Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
    And like a baby boy I never was a man
    Until I saw your blue eyes crying and I held your face in my hand
    And then I fell down yelling “make it go away!”
    Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be
    And then she whispered “How can you do this to me?”